Updated: Nov 22, 2021
Well, here is something I started my journal with this morning. I felt angry, frustrated and sad all at the same time, because I am so part of it. But I admit, I want it to be different. The self-growth, coaching and self-help industry constantly trying us to make to become somebody who we can love.
Read that again - become someone who you can love. Start with 5am mornings, healthy green smoothie diet or another ''peak potential'' course so you like yourself more and THEN you can fall in love with yourself.
Bullshit!!! I wanted to scream this morning. Why should I be on the path of keep trying, keep going, running after something out there if, in fact, I am that.
Wait a second, am I telling I'm perfect.
No, I'm telling you. You are enough. You are worthy. You are loveable.
The background voice of mine has been very loud for many years with fear of missing out and neediness to fit into certain circles - highschool girls, world travelers and nomads, yoga teachers, spiritual seekers and healers.
I tried to fix myself, to change, to adapt, to go through multiple courses, follow certain school of thoughts, meditation and abundance challenges trying to change myself so I can finally allow myself to love me. Me who is always here. Always present. Who is the presence of here and now.
No, nobody told me: You are enough or you are lovable or worthy even though I was looking for it, day to day pushing my limits and going out of my comfort zone.
Till the day I realized. The best thing that has ever happened and that is the only long term thing is being me. The day I looked in the mirror and I liked what I saw, no it wasn't after a workout or fasting. It was after a sleepless night. But I saw my body with loving eyes. With the realization - there is no other body I'll have now in this time space reality, so this is my chance to love it.
Till the day I realized. I am fucking awesome, I am a great one to spend time with. And I did, I walked the streets alone with my chin up and proud, I am taking me on a date, on a never ending date. And yes, it was just 9am and I had my red lipstick on, because when else?
We are born complete.
We are born worthy.
We are born enough.
Stop your seeking of ways to change yourself into something you can accept. Get down on your knees and ask for forgiveness for not seeing this creation complete.
Don't go to another course for the sake of becoming. Go for the sake of enjoyment, love and I am giving this to myself because I so love me, I want to gift myself the best, the best of everything.
I am so blessed to be sharing this with you, thank you for reading and if you are curious of how I was seeking to accept myself in 50+ countries around the world through multiple experiments and how I learnt to really, deeply fall in love with myself, get my book - Becoming a Human again.
Human - the dispanser of gifts, from Sanskrit. And for me a Human is someone who has come back to realization - we're all kind, great souls co-living and co-creating together.