Only when I had finished the last chapter of my book Becoming a Human Again and went to re-read what I had written in the past six months, I realized - I have healed myself a lot. Like a ton. Like I had done years of therapy.
I could see how my first chapters were so full of fear and not being sure. Yes, they were about earlier ages of my life but also I could feel how me, describing them now, was still not sure if those were gains or losses. Most of the time I was still writing from the point of the victim and as if life was hard.
When a friend of mine was editing, he once with a smile on his face said: How funny, you are saying the same thing as in your childhood in your 30s again. I asked what was it and I felt like I was struck by a lightning. I really do, I just hadn't noticed.
Writing makes you notice. To notice the cycles of life, the events that are repeating, and things you've tried to escape, but somehow never managed. You see it on the paper and you have a better understanding that this is not working, something needs to be changed.
I had this repeating thought occurring: I'm going to run out of money. I'm going to be broke.
Or the opposite, when I had money: I feel like I have more than others, that I've taken it away from someone and I don't deserve it. I can't just have it all. I haven't earned it. (Read more in my book in chapter Aston Martin and Private Beaches)
Once I clearly saw and identified these how I love to call the ''glitches'' or ''bugs'' I was ready to clean the system. To clear the beliefs and allow the light, space, and new ways of thinking to come in.
For clearing, I use a 7 step method that I have combined from my own teachers and share it with my students and it works magically every time. Some of the key ingredients in this clearing are admitting what you believe, letting it go, and becoming grateful for the experience.
For myself I use it in journaling whenever I feel blocked or not understanding why the situation repeats itself and again, writing becomes my healing.
Here are some of the benefits I've experienced that writing/journaling has over therapy:
#1 No need for ice-breakers, time to learn to trust
You can be completely honest. Even though I'm very open-minded and I can share things freely, with any new person, I need some time to get to know them to trust them fully. If I have to speak about moments that have truly hurt me and I can't get over, I'd need even more time. So those first visits for me would be just getting to know the therapist and allowing me to talk freely. I can say there would be some things I'd need a very long time to talk about - I have moments that have been very hurtful for me, but I don't think anyone else would think they're a big deal, so sharing them would need even extra. When I write, I share it all, all details and it doesn't matter if it was a tiny action someone did that made me cry or a situation where anyone would break down - I can be honest, raw and me in my journal. I feel instant relief and lightness in my body after sharing.
#2 Available at any time and free of charge
Like I mentioned above - just open the journal and start writing, writing doesn't need a certain day, time, and appointment and it's free. Of course, a combination of both therapy and writing could be amazing, but for the starters, and if you're not sure how to deal with your emotions, suffering or pain, open a journal and start writing. Your hand will guide you.
#3 You become more open. You understand yourself better
If you have written it down, you can look at it from a distance and it loses that humongous size of an elephant that was in your mind. It becomes an event that happened and now you can view it on paper. You can communicate about it better and without not being able to guide your emotions to harmony again. You understand yourself better, and soon you'll notice - you understand others better.
#4 You understand others. You become more of a human
Journaling/Writing makes you deal with your ''stuff'' and when you deal with it, you become more compassionate with others who are also going through rough times. It makes you a better human, it makes you into someone others wish to communicate with. Isn't that nice?
#5 Sharing helps others
If and when you are good and ok with what you've written either sharing a story or writing your journey into a book helps others. I've first just followed an impulse to write a book. I was shit scared and millions of thoughts, such as: Who am I to write? Who is going to want my story? Why embarrass myself? were circling my mind over and over again. But deep down inside I knew: If even one person reads this and it helps them, it's worth it. I've now received over a hundred reviews in messages, e-mails, and in-person of how relatable my story is. How it has healed and given wings to live, breathe and fly again. Living, writing, and sharing my story has helped others, so every second that I spent in creating my life and writing it down has been worth doing it. That is my wish and blessing for you on your writing journey - either to heal yourself or to share this healing with others in open, you have all that it takes and your story is worth sharing!
p.s. If you wish to write your story and are looking for amazing and inspiring guidance, e-mail me to see if you can get coached by me, and in a few months we can celebrate a new book coming out? Or if it's a more intimate journey that you'd like to keep to yourself and choosing writing as your healing, I'm here for you to give you the best tools.